10 Sure Steps to Avoid “SHOT Show Crud”
The scientific name is Basillyus pneumoseptic SHOTem. To the multitude of attendees at the annual NSSF Shooting, Hunting and Outdoor Trade Show, it’s simply known as the “SHOT Show Crud.”
Atlanta, New Orleans, Orlando, Dallas, Houston, Las Vegas – each locale delivers its own strain of the dreaded malady. You go to a few SHOT Shows, you will encounter the crud.
Bill Miller is attending his 31st straight SHOT Show. He hasn’t missed a single one in three decades. Though there’s little medical research on SHOT Show Crud and no known prophylactic vaccine, Miller has seen and experienced enough cases, he has developed a foolproof regimen to avoid the contagion. He recommends these steps:
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1. Drive. Don’t fly! If you want to avoid the crud, 36 hours of white-knuckle driving each way and four Motel 6 stays are better than four hours in an airborne germ tube!
2. Don’t leave your hotel room. Conduct all business at the show via email and your cell phone (not that germy land line in your hotel room.)
3. Avoid large crowds at all costs. Germs live in crowds.
4. Do not drink any alcoholic beverages. Restrict your beverage intake to pure bottled spring water … and it’s best to boil it, just to be sure.
5. Get more sleep than you do at home. Bed down for at least 10 hours per night.
6. Do not shake ANYONE’s hand. Of course you should carry hand sanitizer and pre-scout the locations for hand sanitizer dispensers around the convention center, but why take unnecessary risks?
7. Maintain a low-fat, low-carb, low-calorie diet. Better yet, just drink water. (See Step #4).
8. Eat balanced meals on a precise schedule. Forget that convention center fare on the run. You need sit down meals, eaten slowly and peacefully in quiet surroundings, alone or with a trusted, germ-free companion.
9. Do not handle filthy lucre – i.e. poker chips. If you must indulge, play at 4:30 a.m. when there’s no one else at the table and either wear latex gloves or use a large tweezers to place your bets.
10. Don’t go! If you’re planning on adhering to 30-year-SHOT-Show-Veteran-Miller’s advice, you might as well not go at all – it’s the same thing![/box]